Friday, March 16, 2018

The Kids are Chloridconé: What the Hell is Wrong with the Place, According to Locals

Over the course of my time here in Martinique, I've had the opportunity to bavarder with a pretty wide variety of locals, from young teachers and students to quite elderly students of creole. All of them had one thing in common: they know something is fucked up here. However, they differ quite dramatically in terms of their opinons of the source du mal in Martinique. Today, I present a list of my favorite explanations for all of the problems on this island.

  • People don't understand that the country isn't as rich as it used to be (?)
  • Parents don't hit their kids anymore*
  • Teachers don't hit their students anymore*
  • Parents expect the teachers to hit their kids for them*
  • Teachers expect parents to hit their students for them*
  • There are too many outsiders
  • Too many Martinicans have lived for a time in the mainland
  • Martinicans are too closed-minded
  • People don't respect boundaries and distance between each other anymore
  • People don't treat each other like family and neighbors anymore
  • There are too many people
  • The island is too rural
  • Too many people believe in local fairies and myths
  • Too many people disrespect the local fairies and powers
  • The mainland doesn't invest enough in Martinique
  • Martinicans expect too much from the Mainland
  • Martinicans didn't run of the békés with machetes when they had the chance
  • People use online dictionaries
  • Too many artist types are running around inadequately clothed
  • Too few young people speak creole
  • People don't speak French correctly
  • Young people make up their own mix of French and English and use that instead of just one language
  • The algae blooming because of fertilizer runoff from Brazil are giving off a gas that's going to people's heads
  • Unemployment benefits are too generous
  • Unemployment benefits are too sparse
  • When feminism hit the Caribbean, French Caribbean men murdered their wives and / or became homeless
  • Men here are generally too unemployed
  • Young people here have access to higher education too easily (?)
And today's addition:
  • The kids act wild because they've been chloridconés**

*Corporal punishment for children has been illegal here for some time. Everyone still proudly claims they do it, though
**The runoff of chlodicone into non-banana fields and into the food and soil is a serious problem which you can read about in English here. While the pesticide does appear to have very serious deleterious health effects, I wouldn't go so far as to pin every instance of primary schoolboys misbehaving to it.

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