My year here in Martinique has proven to be the loneliest and most boring of my life, though I acknowledge that memory isn't perfect and that my preteens were pretty bad (amiright?). I don't feel like I've grown as a teacher, but, rather, that the quality of my teaching has declined since I left my summer teaching fellowship because my teachers undermine me and haven't cooperated with my English immersion strategy. I really got hardly any training at all, and none of quality. Sure, I speak a little creole now, which is fun, but I doubt I'll ever use it again. I've picked up a little drawing and listened to some podcasts, but that's been to avoid desperation. While the women I've met here have proven exceptionally decent people, the Martinicans I've encountered have been more close-minded than I had anticipated. With the exception of Easter, which I happily spent in the company of a gracious local family, I've hardly socialized with locals. In fact, several of the other Martinique assistants and I commiserate about resisting leaving the house because of all the damn street harassment. I don't feel that owning a car is conducive to a sustainable lifestyle - or safe, here - but without one I've hardly been able to take advantage of the beaches and hikes, and I can't even go for walks or hang out by the beach without being incessantly harassed.
In short, I'm tempted to say that I've wasted seven months of my youth here. I know that's a little dramatic. Surely I've grown as a person, I've gained soft skills, I've seen natural wonders, etc. But I've also grown really bitter and been really sad.
Luckily, Fairly Nuts Ben and Jerry's ice cream is marketed here, which it is not in the U.S., so I do have one thing to look forward to on my birthday and, hopefully, will have more fun once my friend returns with our car rental for the rest of the Easter vacation.
1000% relate. Hoping sometime in the future I won't feel like it was a complete waste. 7 months is a good-sized chunk out of our twenties. At the very least I can say I learned to be grateful for a million things back home that I never even thought of as special and oftentimes considered necessities before living here. Almost done girl! Best of luck to you back in the US.
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